Monday, December 12, 2005

A Little Joy

The following funnies sure got a laugh out of me this morning!

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A nickel will get you on the subway,
but garlic will get you a seat."
New York Yiddish Proverb

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Once a woman has forgiven a man,
she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.
- Marlene Dietrich


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CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food
computer users eat to avoid having to leave their
keyboards for meals.

COPY: What you have to do during school tests
because you spend too much time at the computer
and not enough studying.

CURSOR: What you try not to turn into
when you can't get your computer to perform.

DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over
a computer keyboard for several hours.

DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up
soon after you get a new computer.

ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into
a computer showroom to "just look."

EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on
to your home to use your computer and all its peripherals.

FILE: What your secretary can now do to her nails
six and a half hours a day, now that the
computer does her day's work in 30 minutes.

FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach
due to lack of exercise and a
steady diet of junk food (see chips).

HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawn mowers,
rakes and other heavy equipment you haven't laid a
finger on since getting your computer.

IBM: The kind of missile your family members and friends
would like to drop on your computer so
you'll pay attention to them again.

MENU: What you'll never see again after buying a computer
cause you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.

MONITOR: Often thought to be a word associated with computers,
this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who
always want to see your hall pass at school.

PROGRAMS: Those things you used to look at on your television
before you hooked your computer up to it.

RETURN: What lots of people do with their computers
after only a week and a half.

TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses,
trains and really good deals on hot computers.

WINDOW: What you heave the computer out of after
you accidentally erase a program that took
you three days to set up.

6 Comments:

At Monday, December 12, 2005, Blogger Mama! Mama! (Mel) said...

I love the Marlene Dietrich quote. :) Thanks for the visit to my blog. I am blogmarking you so I can come back and rummage through your archives. Lovely site....and I don't often use the word "lovely" :).

 
At Monday, December 12, 2005, Blogger Energizer Bunny said...

That was too cute. I enojy laughing and I appreciate the opportunity ;).

 
At Tuesday, December 13, 2005, Blogger xianfu said...

kinda funny though... Nice blog..Yeah.. a little joy..!! Merry Christmas... Best wishes...do leave a comment at my blog..

 
At Tuesday, December 13, 2005, Blogger NJMom72 said...

What a great post, I especially like the Yiddish proverb..I can see how garlic would get you a seat! LOL! I enjoyed my visit, you have a great blog. :-)

 
At Thursday, December 15, 2005, Blogger Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

hehe- Enjoyable. I had heard of the Yiddish proverb before and the MD quote. Humor makes the world more enjoyable. Thx

 
At Sunday, December 18, 2005, Anonymous dd said...

Very funny post! Thank you for posting it.

 

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