A Little Joy

The following funnies sure got a laugh out of me this morning!

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A nickel will get you on the subway,
but garlic will get you a seat."
New York Yiddish Proverb

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Once a woman has forgiven a man,
she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.
- Marlene Dietrich


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CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food
computer users eat to avoid having to leave their
keyboards for meals.

COPY: What you have to do during school tests
because you spend too much time at the computer
and not enough studying.

CURSOR: What you try not to turn into
when you can't get your computer to perform.

DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over
a computer keyboard for several hours.

DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up
soon after you get a new computer.

ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into
a computer showroom to "just look."

EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on
to your home to use your computer and all its peripherals.

FILE: What your secretary can now do to her nails
six and a half hours a day, now that the
computer does her day's work in 30 minutes.

FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach
due to lack of exercise and a
steady diet of junk food (see chips).

HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawn mowers,
rakes and other heavy equipment you haven't laid a
finger on since getting your computer.

IBM: The kind of missile your family members and friends
would like to drop on your computer so
you'll pay attention to them again.

MENU: What you'll never see again after buying a computer
cause you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.

MONITOR: Often thought to be a word associated with computers,
this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who
always want to see your hall pass at school.

PROGRAMS: Those things you used to look at on your television
before you hooked your computer up to it.

RETURN: What lots of people do with their computers
after only a week and a half.

TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses,
trains and really good deals on hot computers.

WINDOW: What you heave the computer out of after
you accidentally erase a program that took
you three days to set up.